I have watched the movie Mean Girls and I know how mean girls really can be. I never thought I would hear about it from my daughter at the age of four.
Stella has this friend who is in her class at school, M. Stella and M are buddies and they do a lot of bonding over princesses. Occasionally, all of the four year olds go out to the same playground at the same time.
Stella and M are playing together and M's friend G comes over. G only wants to play with M and not Stella. Stella suggests that they all play together. G tells Stella she only wants to play with M and not Stella. She tells Stella she does not want to play with her because she thinks Stella is ugly.
!!!!!!
Oh my goodness. I have never wanted to take another child aside and a threaten her life so badly!!!
I composed myself after Stella told me this story and I explained that she should continue to tell G and M that they can all play together.
Well, a week or two goes by and Stella tells me that she sees G again on the playground. G will walk up to Stella and M and grab M's hand and pull her away from Stella.
This situation makes me crazy! How can this little snot be so mean??
Update!
Stella told me that G does not bother her anymore. G and M play on the playground together and Stella plays with other kids. I think I am going to talk to the teacher.
Grape Tomatoes
3 months ago
5 comments:
My first reaction... the one from my Mommy-side says that is a learned behavior from her parents. And I would be inclined to tell Stella to say something like, I don't want to play with G when she walks over, and not that they play all together.
The adult who deals with difficult people often says, there must be something awful going on in G's life for her to behave that way and to have compassion for her.
But at 4... I think the best course of action is to teach Stella to stand up for herself, she doesn't need to be treated that way by M or G. Compassion or no compassion.. she needs to take care of herself.
I may have a different opinion in a bit... but right now... that's what I got.
My first instinct was to tell Stella to take her out at the knees....do you think that would be too assertive??
:-)
No, giving her an actual weapon would have been too assertive.
To be completely honest... the behavior of people in this world never ceases to amaze me. And frankly, I think it is okay to call them on it.
Maybe not for Stella at 4, but I always come back to, if I can do nothing more than instill self confidence in Sunshine, I will have succeeded. To understand her own power and know that she can stand on her own two feet and take care of herself.
So, that's why I come back to.. Stella doesn't need to hang out with people who treat her that way... maybe too harsh.. but that's where I stand today.
How horrible! That makes me sad to think Stella Bella is going through that. I don't know what I will do when that happens to Kai. I remember those days but it certainly wasn't this young!!!!
WE LOVE YOU STELLA!! Oh - YES, we LOVE you too Thomas and little baby on the way :-)
i hate that girls are mean at this age too!
we've encountered the same things. it's kinda like they seem to think that they can only have ONE friend at this age.
my stella is the same way and tries to get everyone to play together...
in the end, i think your stella took the high road and is doing the right thing. praise her for that!
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